# Need ideas on blocking content for kids



## usingpc (Aug 29, 2015)

So I have a free version of Qustodio on my 13 yr. old's laptop and iphone. I can control hours used and times blocked and there is filtering. However, I'm running into the following problems:
1. He is hearing songs with bad lyrics and videos with bad language (mostly on YouTube, as well as some music streaming sites).
2. He is accessing some sites, currently Anime, that have inappropriate content

I know there is restricted mode on YouTube, but obviously he is old enough to turn that off. He also knows how to delete history (I'm not sure if for phone, laptop or both) so that is a problem.

Is anyone here a parent who has successfully solved this issue of keeping kids from bad content, or are we simply very limited in what we can control and have to just accept that fact? I am willing to pay monthly for an effective filter service, but only if I know it will make a difference.


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## Corday (Mar 3, 2010)

To be honest, all the apps are defeat-able. The answer is when family policy is violated, computer privileges are withdrawn.


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## usingpc (Aug 29, 2015)

Corday said:


> To be honest, all the apps are defeat-able. The answer is when family policy is violated, computer privileges are withdrawn.


Are you a parent? I am wondering if you have personally struggled with this. The problem is that one has to remember to constantly check on kids- to be vigilant. And the damage is already done when they're exposed to bad material.
The fact that my son's friends are all seeing and hearing things they shouldn't, coupled with the fact that their parents seem unconcerned about them playing M games, suggests most parents don't have either the common sense, or the energy to maintain strict rules about screen time.


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## Corday (Mar 3, 2010)

In the school district where I coach tennis, the district issues laptops. All the "control" methods have failed.


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## usingpc (Aug 29, 2015)

Corday said:


> In the school district where I coach tennis, the district issues laptops. All the "control" methods have failed.


Yeah, but there are things we can do as parents that the school district can't do. Do you think their filters are as good as it gets?


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## Tyrone Whittle (May 7, 2019)

usingpc said:


> Yeah, but there are things we can do as parents that the school district can't do. Do you think their filters are as good as it gets?


Just consider smart phones and your kid's friends. Every smart phone can access the internet, and every friend has one. Even if you were successful in blocking A through Z, one of their friends is going to have a smart phone and from there they can go, and see, anything.

One thing to keep in mind is that the kids KNOW what their parent allows and what's "wrong". Intent is everything, IMO. If your kids intend to obey their parents, they'll self-censor, and they intend to defy their parents, they'll see whatever they want.

Personally I think some of these parents are stark raving mad; the ones that give their kids fully functional cell phones at the age of 9.

Actually, as I think of it, there might be some kind of solution commercially available, at least for home, and non-cell phone use. Set up a "white list" in the wireless router so that ONLY certain websites and/or IP Addresses can pass. Depends on the kids and what you are willing them to allow.

White listing means that EVERYTHING EXCEPT A, B and C is blocked. You'd have to find a workaround to this for adults. Severely restricting access in this way is the only way I can imagine it could be done. Until one day the kid cracks the router, changes the whitelist, etc...


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## tristar (Aug 12, 2008)

The best approach I've found is educating the kid on what's right and wrong, and why something should not be done. You can restrict all you want, end of the day, that information is going to reach them one way or the other.

Educating the kid, will ensure that they're mature enough to avoid the information, since you've already taught them about it, and why it should be avoided. It seems like a herculean task, but it isn't...You just have to keep reminding them from time to time.. Peer pressure is one of the biggest problems which will lead to them doing stuff they're not supposed to..


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## Stancestans (Apr 26, 2009)

tristar said:


> The best approach I've found is educating the kid on what's right and wrong, and why something should not be done. You can restrict all you want, end of the day, that information is going to reach them one way or the other.
> 
> Educating the kid, will ensure that they're mature enough to avoid the information, since you've already taught them about it, and why it should be avoided. It seems like a herculean task, but it isn't...You just have to keep reminding them from time to time.. Peer pressure is one of the biggest problems which will lead to them doing stuff they're not supposed to..


My thoughts exactly! Does the kid know there are certain things you wouldn't want them getting exposed to, yet, and why that is so? Are they aware that you're putting restrictions in place to that effect, and that they shouldn't circumvent or try to circumvent those restrictions, and that there are consequences (disciplinary) for doing so? If, after it's all been said and done, the kid still finds it worth the trouble to break set rules and regulations, then no software or service is going to help! You as the parent should be the ultimate authority.


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## tristar (Aug 12, 2008)

Things which the kid is not mature enough to comprehend, we tell her that it's in the "bad bucket", and tell her that we will explain to her when she grows up, we keep reinforcing that the parents are protective for a reason.. Not disciplinary, never, I want her to feel she can be open to share things with us whether good or bad, and reason with her explaining why we're doing it and what the impact can be.. So far it seems to have worked, she's getting into teenage, so I'm in for a roller coaster ride from here :S


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## Sgayres (Jun 11, 2010)

Mountain biking.


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## Corday (Mar 3, 2010)

Sgayres said:


> Mountain biking.


Not sure all members will understand your tongue in cheek comment, but it does reinforce strong family values.


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## usingpc (Aug 29, 2015)

Helpful comments. But I think we also need to be realistic and recognize that no matter how much kids want to do the right thing, when inappropriate content is a click away, expecting them to not go there because we have "taught them better" is not enough. Nevertheless, if I'm not missing anything and indeed I have really done all one can do in terms of blocking content, I will just accept the fact that my kids will continue, because of the internet, to be exposed to things way before I was as a kid, and way before they can properly deal with them.


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## Stancestans (Apr 26, 2009)

usingpc said:


> Helpful comments. But I think we also need to be realistic and recognize that no matter how much kids want to do the right thing, when inappropriate content is a click away, expecting them to not go there because we have "taught them better" is not enough. Nevertheless, if I'm not missing anything and indeed I have really done all one can do in terms of blocking content, I will just accept the fact that my kids will continue, because of the internet, to be exposed to things way before I was as a kid, and way before they can properly deal with them.


Teaching them better is everything. It shapes their decision making and conscience and eventually their interests. The reality is that exposure at an early stage is inevitable, so what are you going to do about it?


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## Stancestans (Apr 26, 2009)

You may also want to try OpenDNS web content filtering. This works at your home network level. See https://support.opendns.com/hc/en-us/articles/227988047


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## alpenadiver (Jul 31, 2007)

+1 For Open DNS, been using it for years since the kids were in Jr. High School. Many options for blocking different content.


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